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How doulas and cafes help people break the last taboo – talking about death
2024-05-20, Christian Science Monitor
https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2024/0520/death-taboo-conversation-educ...

Ms. Gatto is Green-Wood [Cemetery's] resident death educator. She coordinates programs that include financial end-of-life planning seminars and the Mortality & Me book club. For much of human history, the issues of death and dying have been predominantly handled though religion and rites of organized faith. But as the United States became more secular, the loss of customs left a void. "Many people are raised with different ideas about fear connected to death. People end up carrying this stuff with them throughout their whole lives ... It's creating these more positive outlets for processing these kinds of feelings with community. I get to see what people are yearning for, and then create events and programs around it – and make it, dare I say, a little fun, right?" [Gatto] says. The goal of today's death education, says Anita Hannig, an anthropologist and author who studies death, is to find ways to address mortality without taking on the baggage that often accompanies it. "We're trying to create a safe container for us to have those conversations and not be labeled as morbid, suicidal, or weird and obsessed with death," she says. Some people's first encounter might be a death cafe. The unstructuredness of death cafes means participants can steer the conversation to larger topics, like questions of an afterlife, legacy, or a bucket list. But they can also find it helpful to dig into more functional topics, like funeral planning, wills, and burial methods. These gatherings numbering in the thousands have taken place across 90 countries. The rules of death cafes are simple: They are respectful and confidential. They shouldn't have any particular agenda. They shouldn't be held with the intention of leading participants to any particular conclusion. And they should, ideally, involve cake.

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